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personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

The answer to how to deal with a narcissist:

Don't.

You cannot win in an argument against them. They will never concede. They will always find some reason to attack you. They are masters of getting others to be unwitting pawns in abusing you (this is called triangulation, and they love doing it). The only winning move is not to play. Tell them you're sorry they see things that way and move on.

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personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

An old favourite of narcissists is to confuse the fuck out of you.

They love to love bomb, and will make you feel like a million bucks at first.

Then when you don't meet their standards, they will push your buttons, and they're good at making it look like you're the problem to others. And then they'll be nice to you again, roping you back in.

This tactic is the single most damaging part of narcissistic abuse. It leaves victims highly confused.

personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

Narcissists rarely seek treatment. Often they are good at concealing their condition from therapists and mental health practitioners. Deep down they know what they are and they don't see a problem with it. Some even shop around for therapists and get other diagnoses to help cover up the narcissism.

personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

Narcissists love gaslighting, accusing others of doing what they're doing, and especially get a kick out of anything that makes them feel powerful and important. This is because deep down they are fragile and highly insecure. This is why you can never criticise or say no to a narcissist. They tend to explode with anger and upset. And they split easily in the psychological (not plural) sense. You can become Satan to them instantly.

personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

Narcissists will use other conditions to hide their narcissism. My narcissistic abuser hid behind ADHD, CPTSD, RSD, trauma, neglect, lurid stories, etc. And it's convincing at first, Hell I was convinced at first.

re: personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@Elizafox hm……

re: personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@luci ?

re: personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@Elizafox (however, one must always remember that these conditions are still real and do not neccessarily mean someone's an abuser – because that would also be something a narcissist would like to have you think)

re: personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@kescher mhm! absolutely.

personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@Elizafox in my experience it's more like, they partially know but they are mostly incapable of seeing and accepting it and instead believe everything they say. The worldview they project on others is the one they're so sure of themselves and having to accept that it's not would be so painful and require so much trauma acceptance of themselves that it's mostly not possible without extensive therapy

personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@Elizafox I'm just gonna bring up A Thing, the language of this post does kinda sound a bit... Unfair to people with NPD? it's a real thing and people aren't Inherently Evil for having it, only if they're actually being abusive. You should certainly talk about this type of abuse, but I think it should be framed as "abusers" rather than "narcissists"?

personal experiences with narcisstic abuse, advice 

@keith Note the CW.

Criticism 

@Elizafox @keith yeah but you didn't tag it for sanist or ableist language you tagged it for "narcissistic abuse" which is already in itself an ableist term

Criticism 

@raphaelmorgan @Elizafox my issue was just that the body of the post refers to abusers as just "narcissists", I understand that you're speaking from personal experiences with abuse, but the language still kind of punches down at a group of people who are already seen negatively for having a mental disorder?

Stigma against cluster Bs 

@keith @Elizafox yeah but I think the term "narcissistic abuse" does that in itself
Maybe not originally, but now that narcissistic personality disorder is a known diagnosis and extremely stigmatized and people already see them as abusers for it
I think there's no real distinction between emotional abuse (what people are usually talking about) and "narcissistic abuse" besides armchair diagnosing the abuser as a narcissist for the purpose of using that stigma

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